i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
