If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need water and some morals
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