I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize