how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
