Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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