We should be called the Road Head Warriors
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
