He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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