Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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