His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
