Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I won the penis lottery.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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