We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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