Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
