Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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