I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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