Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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