??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
