We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize