Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
