haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its not stalking. its research.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
