We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize