So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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