It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
