I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
