you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
