Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
