just tell him i said nine months
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
