i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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