dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
