Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.