i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
