He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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