there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
