dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
