Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
