where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
