Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
