if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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