I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
