there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
