Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Edward fifth and chaser hands
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
