I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
