Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
