1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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