i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
