and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize