omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
