woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
