She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
