Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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