Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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