hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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