All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Damn victory sex feels great
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
