Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize
