Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize